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Fic: All Your Secret Wishes Chapter 12


Jensen used to tell Jared that he was made of sunshine and Chad teased him that he needed to turn down the glow because he was outshining the sun these days.

Jared couldn’t remember a time when he was happier; that was why he couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling building up in his chest. His happiness couldn’t last before something came along to try and take it from him but he wasn’t going to let that happen.  This was the happiest he had ever been in his life.

“Jared is that you?”

The voice sounded familiar. It was one that Jared hadn't heard in fourteen years and he had almost forgotten what she sounded like but he never expected to hear it again in front Jared’s favourite bakery.

Turning around, Jared came face-to-face with someone he never thought he'd see again. "Mom?"

Amanda Padalecki had known that it was a huge gamble coming back to see if Jared was still here. "Look at you all grown up, you are taller than I thought you would be." Amanda wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her son but knew that it wouldn't be welcomed.

Amanda had dreamt of this moment for so long but now that it was here she didn’t know what to say to him. How do you make amends for abandoning your child?

"What are you doing here?" Jared thought that he would never see her again and truth be told he wasn't sure how he felt about this. Jared stared at the woman before him - the woman that he had to look at pictures of to remind himself what she looked like.

“You’re looking well.” Jared didn’t know what else to say, he wished Jensen was here.  His mate would have just the words to say.

Unable to help herself Amanda took a step forward and reached out a hand to touch Jared only for it to fall back down when Jared took a step back.

Something sparkling on Amanda’s right hand caught Jared’s attention. “You got remarried?”

Amanda looked embarrassed as she answered, "I have a family, a husband and two little girls."

Jared didn't think that anything Amanda would have to say to him would hurt him, but he was wrong. "So you can stick around. I guess I just wasn't worth you trying."

Amanda flinched like Jared had hit her but there was no denying his words were true, "Jared, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and my biggest will always be you. Walking away from you haunted me for so long. I can never make up for the pain and damage I caused you.  But I would like to try." Amanda pleaded with Jared.

"Does your family know about me? Or am I still the dirty little secret that you don't like to mention." Jared couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. Amanda’s silence was telling enough and Jared felt his heart break all over again. “Right, I don’t know why I expected anything else.”

“Jared, please just give me a chance. I know I have so much to make up for.” Amanda needed Jared to give her a second chance.

“I need time to think. This was not something I ever planned on. I just need time to process all of this.” Jared took a step back from Amanda.

“I understand. I’m going to be in town for a while; I really wish that you would give me a chance. Your father would like to meet you.” Amanda decided that she had no choice but to play her trump card.

“My... my father?” Jared stumbled back in shock. Jared had always wondered about who his real father was or what he was like. Amanda had refused to talk about him.

Jared remembered the conversation he’d had with her when he was four.

“Mom will I ever met dad?” Jared asked his mother. His friend Chad had the best dad in the world and so many of his other classmates gushed and loved to talk about their dads. It made Jared feel lonely and left out.

Amanda stilled. “No Jared, you won’t ever meet your father. He wants nothing to do with us.”

Jared’s heart broke and he couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall. “Why?”

For a moment Jared’s heartbroken tone softened something in Amanda

“Just shut up about your father! He’s never going to be a part of our lives so stop crying over something so stupid!”

“He would really like to meet you.” Amanda had been so shocked when Jared’s father tracked her down but it might be the only thing that would get Jared to agree to talk to her.

This was too much for Jared; he couldn’t deal with the fact that not only was his mother back and wanting to be a part of his life but also his father as well. “You have no right to show back up in my life and dangle knowledge about my father as a way to get me to do what you want. You used me to get your hands on Jensen’s money! Why do you think I would want anything to do with you again? If I want to speak to you I will get in touch with you. If my father really wants to meet me tell him to get in contact with Jensen Ackles. Until then leave me alone.” Jared turned on his heel and left Amanda behind; he was done being her pawn.

Kim did not look please when she entered Jensen’s office. “I have an Amanda Padalecki-Olsson here to demanding to see you. Do you want me to throw her out? Because I will, boss, happily.” Kim had no love for the former Mrs. Ackles and she would love to throw that bitch out on her ass.

Jensen hadn’t laid eyes on Amanda since the night she left him and Jared. And Kim’s offer was tempting; oh-so-tempting. “No, send her in but stand by just in case you get your chance.”

Amanda hadn’t changed much in the years she had been gone. Her hair was a little shorter and her clothes weren’t designer label but that was about all that had changed.

“What the hell are you doing here, Amanda? I thought you cut all ties with us when you took my mother’s deal. It was one thing to hurt me but to hurt your own son is something I will never be able to forgive you for.” Jensen wanted to know what she wanted and how to get her out of their lives before she ruined it some more.

That got a small smile out of Amanda. “You and Jared are a lot alike in that regards. I caused more pain and hurt to Jared when I used you for your money then I did by abandoning him.”

Jensen’s worst fears were realized; she had already seen Jared. “Jared puts on a good front but not having a mother to love and care about him hurt him deeply and left scars that still haven’t healed. So no, Jared never got over the fact that his mother didn’t love him enough to stick around and left him behind.”

“I know I made mistakes where Jared was concerned, but I did what I thought was best for him and that was leaving him with you. I know that nothing I can ever say or do will make things right with him, I have to live with the knowledge that my son is right in hating me.” Amanda knew that Jensen wouldn’t be happy to see her but she had hoped it would be a little better than this. She felt like she was in a place to finally be a mother to Jared.

Jensen shook his head. “It’s not about what you want Amanda but what Jared wants. I will not force my mate to meet with you unless he wants to meet with you.” Jensen wasn’t about to go against Jared’s wishes for her of all people.

“I just want a chance to make things right with him, he is still my son.” Amanda shot back.

“Jared stopped being your son the moment you chose money over him and gave up all rights to him.” Jensen snarled back at her.

“I told Jared that his father wants to meet him.” Again Amanda found herself being forced to play her only card.

Jensen could only stare at Amanda in disbelief. “Do you even hear yourself, Amanda? If you want to prove to us that you have changed don’t wave that around. Give Jared some time to think about this. Now I will like you to leave.  I have a mate to care for.”

"Screw her. She couldn't give you the time of day so why should you make time for her?" Chad hated the woman for what he had done to his best friend.  He had never forgotten the times Jared cried over the woman when they were children wanting to know why his mother didn't love him.

In Chad's opinion, Jared was much better off without her in his life.

Not wanting to disturb Jensen at work, Jared had called his best friend and told him everything. “I don’t think I want to see her, but I would like to meet my dad,” Jared admitted in a soft voice.

“Dude, there is nothing wrong with that. I say go for it. Now how about we play a game until Jensen gets back?” Chad suggested.

A small smile appeared on Jared’s face; he really did have the best friend ever. “Yeah I’d like that a lot.” There were times that Jared didn’t know what he would do without Chad and this was one of those times.

Jensen could smell Chad’s lingering scent and was grateful that his mate hadn’t been left alone. He had been unsure of Chad’s role in Jared’s life but he was glad that the blond was proving him wrong.  He couldn’t ask for a better best friend for Jared.

It was only because he knew his mate so well did Jensen know where to look for Jared. "I thought I'd find you here," Jensen commented as he found Jared curled up in their bed. Climbing in beside him, Jensen tugged Jared into his arms.

“I still feel like that little boy working so hard for her approval.” Jared looked up at Jensen with tears in his eyes, “I don’t get it. Why couldn’t she have loved me?”

Feeling his own heartbreak at the pain Jared was currently going through, Jensen wrapped his arms tightly against his boy and tugged him against his chest. “I don’t know why she treated you like she did but it’s her loss. She missed out on something very special. I think in her own way she did love you. After all, she let you go so that you could be raised in a loving home.”

"She has a new family; one that she didn't abandon." The words were no more than a whisper and Jensen felt his heartbreaking for Jared. No matter what had happened Jared still loved his mother deeply.

“And I think what hurts me the most is that she was willing to settle down and have a family - that she didn’t leave them behind like she did with me,” Jared admitted in a small voice.

When Jared turned tear-filled eyes up to him Jensen felt his heart crack completely as Jared asked in a broken tone, "Why didn't she love me enough to stick around?"

Gathering Jared into his arms, Jensen pressed a kiss on the side of Jared's head, "I don't know baby, but I do know that she is a fool for letting go of one of the sweetest and most caring people I know."

Jared wasn't sure how he felt. His mother, the mother that abandoned him without a second thought for a steep price tag, wanted to meet with him. “Chad says I should tell her to get lost but still meet my dad.”

“I’d never thought I’d say this but I have to agree with Chad. In the end though, it’s your choice.” Jensen knew he would support Jared in whatever choice he made.

“I think for now I would just like to lay here in my mate’s arms.” Jared nuzzled closer to Jensen.

“Yeah, we can do that as well.” Jensen agreed.

One thing that Jared and Jensen forgot was that when Amanda wanted something, she didn’t stop till she got it and that had not changed at all.

Jensen wasn’t too pleased with being woken up from a much-earned sleep or being forced to leave his nice warm bed and his mate snuggled deep in his arms. Saturdays were a day where there was no rush for them; where Jensen took his time in worshipping his mate and they wasted half the day away making love nice and slow.

So Jensen wasn’t too happy to find visitors ringing their doorbell two days after Amanda came crashing back into their lives.  She was standing on their doorstep with a very handsome man with greying dark hair and a stylish beard. He looked as comfortable as they did at being here.

But Jensen noticed the awestruck look in his eyes when he looked at Jared and Jensen had a pretty good idea just who this man was.

“I asked you to give him some time,” Jensen growled, not moving from his spot in front of the door, keeping Jared safely behind him.

“I know but I have a life to get back to! I need to know if my son wants to talk to me or not! I have two little girls at home waiting for their mother to come home!” Amanda was done waiting.

“And there is your problem. It’s all about you and not what is best for Jared. I should call the cops on you and have you charged with harassment. And Danneel, you remember Danneel? Well, she’s now the D.A. and she would love to lock you away, so don’t push your luck.” Jensen snarled, easily slipping into full blown alpha mode.

“Jensen.” That one word with a soft touch on Jensen’s arm was the only thing stopping him from ripping Amanda apart.

The unknown man cleared his throat. “My name is Jeffrey Dean Morgan and I am your father, Jared. If it’s okay I would like to come in and get to know you.”

It was only because he knew how much this meant to Jared, how long he has been looking for to meeting his father, did Jensen step aside and let them in.

Amanda made herself at home on the expensive leather couch, looking around the room that had once been her living room and it wasn’t hard to see that nothing was the same. Jensen and Jared had kept nothing that belonged to her and she didn’t know why that stung.

Jeffrey felt a little uncomfortable and a lot nervous. This was his son he was about to meet. He had dreamt of this moment for so long. “It’s so good to finally meet you, Jared. I’ve been looking for you for a long time.” Jeff did his best not to glare at Amanda. He didn’t think that he would ever forgive her for costing him his son.

"I know I did wrong by you, Jared, I wasn't the best mother. I wasn't the right person to raise you." Amanda sent a pleading look at Jared.

"You used me to get to Jensen's money!" Jared couldn’t keep it in.

Shocked, Amanda shot a venomous glare at Jensen, "Did he tell you that?" ‘I should have known that Jensen would try to turn my son against me.’

"No.  Jensen refused to say one bad word about you. I did some digging of my own and it wasn't hard to find the money trail. You married Jensen because of his wealth and used his fondness for me to trap him in a loveless marriage." That was why Jared knew he could never truly forgive his mother because she used him to hurt Jensen.

Not wanting to talk to her anymore, Jared turned his attention to the other man. “Amanda never talked about you. I asked all the time about you but she would never tell me anything about you. I wanted to find you and meet you.”

“I looked for you everywhere. But let’s just say that I regret not looking for you harder.” Jeff wasn’t sure how he was going to tell Jared that his mother had basically blackmailed him into giving up his rights to Jared.

Jared knew that he would never be able to salvage a relationship with his mother but maybe he could find a new one. “I’d still like to get to know you if that is okay,” Jared asked in a soft voice afraid Jeff would say no.

“I’d love that! It’s why I came here, well that and the teaching job I took.” This was more than Jeff could hope for.

“Amanda, I thank you for bringing Jeff to meet me but it doesn’t forgive you for what you have done, at least not yet. You have no idea how much it hurts me to hear that you have a new family; one that doesn’t even know you have a son. Did you just think that I was going to magically forgive you? Life doesn’t work like that. I would like you to leave. Maybe someday I’ll get in contact with you but it will be on my terms and my terms alone.” Jared declared.

Jensen couldn’t have been more proud of his mate then he was in that moment.

Amanda realized that she wasn’t going to get the family reunion she had dreamed off.  She had truly thought that Jared would be happy to see her. “I understand and I hope to hear from you someday.” Pulling out a pen and paper Amanda wrote down her contact info and held the paper out to Jared. “I really hope that someday you will want to meet the rest of your family, Jared.”

With shaking hands, Jared took it if only to get Amanda out of there.  She really couldn’t see how much she was hurting him.

Jeff climbed to his feet. “I’m going to go as well and give you some time to process all this. Is it okay if I stop by in a few days?” He asked, looking as nervous as Jared felt.

“I’d like that a lot.” Jared wanted to get to know JD but at the same time right now he just wanted to be with his mate.

Climbing to his feet, Jensen showed them both out before returning to Jared where he pulled his hurting mate into his arms. “You did so good sweetheart, I’m so proud of you.”

Jared drew strength from his mate; he didn’t know what he would do without Jensen in his life.

13

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