Title: How could I not love you?
Summary: Jack wonders how someone like Ianto could love him.
Rating: PG I guess
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood
Author note: the song used for the title is ‘How could I not love you?’ by Joy Enriquez
Ianto Jones is a mystery, one that Jack’s doubt he will ever completely solve.
Watching his younger lover sleep, he can’t help but wonder why Ianto is not only with him, but how he could love someone like him. Is it fair to keep Ianto trapped in a relationship that can not truly go anywhere, when it is clear that Ianto can do much better than him.
Can he find it in him to let Ianto go, to let him find someone that he can settle down with a build an actual future with?
The answer is no, he is far too selfish to let Ianto go, even if it would be better in the long run for the young man.
Lifting a hand Jack slowly traced Ianto features which were so much more relaxed as he slept, for once undisturbed by nightmares, “how can you love me? What I have I done to earn your love? I hurt you, abounded you, flirted and chased everyone who caught my eye even though I knew how much it would hurt you, and worse than that I trailed after both the Doctor and Gwen like a love sick puppy, making you believe that you are second best.” Jack murmured softly.
“How can I not love you?” Ianto soft voice questioned back.
Jack could only stare at Ianto in shock, he never meant for Ianto to hear his confession, nor could he not think of anything to say to answer his question.
“Do you not think I have asked myself what the great Jack Harkness could possible see in someone like me? How could I ever compare to the Doctor or Gwen, who you clearly love. Yet I am left wondering what you feel for me.” Ianto admitted softly.
Sitting up Ianto looked at Jack with emotions shining brightly in his eyes, “After Lisa I couldn’t help but hope one day that I could find someone who loves me, the one who could ease my pain that I have, to chase away the nightmares, the one who will hold me tight and never let me go, to wipe away ever tear drop that falls, to be my strength when I am weak and unable to move. And my heart longs for that person to be you.” By the time he was finished Ianto was speaking no louder than a whisper, yet to Jack he might as well been yelling.
This was his chance, he could break Ianto’s heart, deny what the younger man meant to him, but looking into those trusting blue eyes that shone with trust and love, Jack could not lie to Ianto and could no longer lie to himself about his own feelings about Ianto.
“Time and space may try to keep us apart, rumours and hurts might try their best to break us apart, yet no matter what life throws at us or where ever life may take us, I will always be here and I will never stop caring about you and I will always love you. Those who I truly loved, I never forget, for they have taken a part of my heart, that I am never able to recover and you Ianto are quickly coming to hold the biggest piece of my heart.” Jack admitted pulling Ianto into his arms.
Oh how Ianto wanted to believe Jack words, “in a thousand years you won’t even remember me, I am nothing but a blip in time.” Ianto whispered.
Jack fought back a shutter those words produced, “listen to me Ianto I will never forget you, and I will remember you in a thousand years. Your memory is one that I will hold onto until my finale death, I will not forget you. You will never be a blip in time for me, believe me.” He whispered hoarsely.
Reaching out Ianto wiped away the stray tear that Jack didn’t even notice, “I do Jack. So are we giving us a go, a chance at a real relationship?” He didn’t want to get his hopes up.
Leaning forward Jack brushed a gentle kiss across Ianto’s lips, “we are, I want a relationship with you Ianto, more than you can ever imagine.”
Smiling Ianto pulled Jack down into a longer kiss, letting himself completely melt against Jack as his older lover lowered him back down to his bed, both happy with the knowledge of where they stand with one another.