Fandoms: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Tommy/Tosh, past John/Jack, one-sided John/Ianto, Owen, Kathy, Gwen, Mickey/Jake, Harold Saxon, Rhys/Andy, Martha, James Harper, Ross, Rory, brief mention of the Doctor/Rose, Donna
Prompt: The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Summary: A Pirate Captain seeking to reclaim what was stolen from him joins forces with a young Blacksmith seeking to rescue his kidnapped best friend. Together they find more than just the adventures of their journey.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or Doctor Who.
Written for Reel_Torchwood Round 5
In the cave, Jack could tell he had John’s complete interest; now all he had to do was put his plan into action. While John and Tommy were engaged in a war, he and Ianto would sneak away into the sunset. “Just here me out, mate. You order your men to row out to the Valiant. They do what they do best. Robert’s your Uncle, Fannie’s your Aunt, and there you are with two ships. The makings of your very own fleet.” Jack purred his words as he began to circle around John; he could see interest and greed beginning to shine brightly in John’s eyes.
“Course you’ll take the grandest as your flagship, and who’s to argue? But what of the Myfanwy? Name me Captain, I’ll sail under your colours, I’ll give you ten percent of me plunder and you get to introduce yourself as Commodore Hart. Savvy?” Jack finished off.
“I suppose in exchange you want me to not kill Eye-Candy?” John asked; he wanted to hear Jack’s answer even though he had no plans to waste a plaything as fun and pretty as Ianto Jones.
It took all of Jack’s willpower not to shout ‘YES!’ at the top of his lungs and snatch Ianto away, but he forced himself to stick to his plan. Shooting Ianto a quick look full of sincere apology, he forced the words past his lips, “No, no, not at all. By all means, kill Eye-Candy. Just not yet. Wait to lift the curse until the most opportune moment. For instance…”
Jack reached out and ran his fingers over the pile of cursed gold disks before picking up a few of the medallions and letting them trickle through his fingers. “…after you’ve killed Brockless’ men.” As he was speaking, Jack started dropping the remaining medallions back into the chest. “Every…” The first coin clinked into the pile. “Last…” The second coin landed. “One…” As he finished speaking, he pocketed the last coin.
Only Ianto saw that Jack had slipped the medallion into his pocket and suddenly Jack’s plan made sense. In an effort to help Jack, Ianto twisted in John’s grasp and said, “You’ve been planning this from the beginning, ever since you learned my name!” Ianto demanded, making sure John saw how angry he was with the other man. He wanted to know, he needed that Jack was never going to use him as leverage.
Relief and gratitude filled Jack and warmed his heart when he saw that Ianto had figured out his plan. “Yeah,” he agreed.
Oblivious to the silent exchange between Jack and Ianto, John thought about Jack’s proposal and he had to admit that he rather liked the idea of having Jack working under him. ‘Hmm, maybe once I’ve broken Eye-Candy I’ll gift him to Jack.’ A thrill washed over John as the continued to think about it. Yes, John rather enjoyed picturing the broken look he’d get to see on Jack’s face when John gave him the empty shell of his beloved Welshman.
It was such a delicious idea that John was getting aroused just thinking about it. However, there was something that was bothering him, tickling at the edges of his dastardly plan, “I want fifty percent of your plunder.”
‘It can’t be this easy, can it?’ Jack thought with a frown; ‘John must be up to something.’ Still, there was no way he was going to give John that much. “Fifteen,” Jack countered/
John frowned back. “Forty.”
Again Jack thought it was too much. “Twenty-five. And I’ll buy you the hat. A really big one, Commodore.” Jack made his final offer, stressing John’s title, knowing that would appeal to him even more than the money.
Ianto wanted to roll his eyes at the bantering between Jack and John. The cut on his neck was itching and his hands were tied behind his back; it was so frustrating!
John had to admit he wouldn’t mind getting a big hat; ‘I’ll look damned good in a hat with a huge white feather blowing in the breeze!’ “We have an accord,” John agreed and the two enemies shook hands.
Before he could stop himself, Jack turned to face the crew and the order fell naturally from his lips. “All hands to the bo… !” He stopped when he saw John looking askance at him and he knew immediately that he’d overstepped his bounds. With a deep bow, he said, “Apologies. You give the orders.”
Releasing Ianto, John moved towards his crew. “Gent’s, take a walk,” he ordered with a grin. The pirates all laughed heartily as they walked away.
Jack frowned; this was not part of his plan. “Not to the boats?” he asked casually. ‘What the hell’s going on?’
Before they could go off with the rest of the pirates, Rex stopped Rhys and Andy in their tracks. As he poked them savagely in their chest with a big fluffy parasol, Rhys pulled Andy safely behind him. He really did not like the look in Rex’s eyes as the pirate stared menacingly at them.
It was with luck that the small amount of Ianto’s blood hadn’t landed on any of the cursed gold, the crew quickly followed John’s ordered and took to a walk on the bottom of the sea. They would enjoy one last slaughter before their curse was finally lifted.
Hidden behind the spit of land outside the cavern and growing more and more impatient at the lack of action, Commodore Tommy did his best to ignore the flirty whispering between the other two men in the boat. Suddenly, something caught eye and he squinted, trying to make it out. Frustrated that he was too far away to see clearly, Tommy pulled out his spyglass and put it up to his eye.
Immediately he realised that it was a rowboat coming towards them and then he was really surprised to see that it contained two women. ‘Where the hell did they come from?’ “Hold fire!” he quickly ordered his men.
Andy was utterly humiliated that he and Rhys had been forced to dress in women’s clothing, although he had to admit he thought they did look rather fetching. He looked up to compliment Rhys on the way the colour of his corset brought out the roses in his cheeks when he saw the downcast look on his lover’s face. With a big smile, Andy tried to put a positive spin on their situation.
“This is just like what the ancient Greeks did on Old Earth at Troy. Cept they was in a horse instead of dresses. Wooden horse.” Andy really wanted to see Rhys smile so he decided to play it up and when Tommy’s small fleet of long boats came into view, he began to wave and giggle at the UNIT soldiers. Still unaware of who the ‘women’ really were, several of them waved back, and Andy blew them a kiss across the water.
Rhys rolled his eyes at his lover’s antics but the kiss was too much, and he didn’t even bother to fight back his possessive growl. He did not like it when his Andy flirted with other men.
While Andy and Rhys were busy unwittingly distracting the UNIT soldiers and sailors, John Hart’s crew were sneaking onboard the Valiant.
Onboard the Valiant and completely unaware of the danger that was approaching, Harold had given in to his guilty conscience and had gone to Tommy’s cabin to talk to Tosh. “A moment, please.” Tommy had post an armed guard outside the door, as much to keep Toshiko in as to keep invaders out. When he heard footsteps coming down the ladder, the man snapped to attention, his rifle cocked and at the ready. When he saw that it was Governor Harold Saxon, he quickly apologised for aiming a loaded weapon at him and then stood stiffly at attention, fearing the worst.
Pleased to see that the soldier was taking his daughter’s safety so seriously, Harold clapped him on the shoulder and thanked him. Certain that he was about to be placed in chains and imprisoned for threatening the most powerful man on the Boeshane Peninsula, the soldier almost collapsed from shock at Harold’s gesture.
“You can stand down for a few minutes, soldier; I’ll see to it that Miss Sato stays in her cabin.” Harold paused with his hand on the doorknob and looked back at the man. “Thank you for taking care of my daughter.” Speechless with surprise, the guard nodded mutely and then stepped away, giving the Governor space and privacy to talk to his daughter.
Once he was sure that the guard was well out of earshot, Harold knocked gently on the door. He wasn’t surprised when Tosh refused to answer, so he began speaking to her through the door. “Toshiko? I just want you to know, I uh… I believe you made a very good decision today. I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
While she listened to her father talking Tosh finished tying the last of the bed sheets together with whatever clothing she could get her hands on. She looked out the open window, thankful that one of Hart’s crew had done a poor job of tying up one of their longboats. It had drifted behind the Valiant and was floating right below her window.
After making sure that her rope was securely tied to the bedpost, Tosh tossed it out the window. Her father was still speaking as Tosh climbed up onto the window ledge, gripped the makeshift rope tightly and began lowering herself down into the boat. Just as her head slipped below the ledge, she heard him say, “But, you know, even a good decision if made for the wrong reasons can be a wrong decision.”
That halted Tosh in mid-climb. ‘He doesn’t think I love Ianto like that, does he? Everybody knows my heart belongs to Tommy and I know for a fact that Ianto has clearly fallen head over heels for Jack. Once this is over, I’ll need to have a long talk with my dad. Ianto’s like my brother!’
Always prepared for the worst, Tommy had posted several men on watch on the deck of the Valiant. While watching several pelicans dive for fish, one of the sailors spotted the boat with two women in it headed in their direction. “Lieutenant?” he called for James to come to the railing, wondering what they should do.
“Yoo-hoo!” Andy beckoned, waving his hankie over his head while Rhys fought the urge to overreact when his lover batted his eyelashes at the men who gathered at the Valiant’s railing. “Oh, boys!”
Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship, “Tosh? Are you there?” Frustrated, Harold rapped loudly on the door and rattled the knob. “Toshiko, are you even listening to me?” Finding that it was unlocked and tired of not getting an answer from his daughter, Harold shoved the door open. The first thing he saw was that the room was empty, and then he spotted the makeshift rope. “Oh, Tosh, what have you done?” he groaned as he rushed over to the window.
“Oooh!” Andy’s voice sing-songed out over the water; he had really gotten in touch with his feminine side and it was pissing Rhys off like crazy.
“Stop that! Already feel like a fool.” Rhys slapped Andy on the arm. “I don’t like the way they’re lookin’ at you!”
Andy fluttered his eyes at Rhys and blew him a kiss. “You look nice, though, kinda pretty, ya know?” Andy ran his gaze slowly up and down his mate, admiring the way Rhys’ corset cinched in his waist. ‘I wonder if I can get Rhys to dress like this for me more often,’ he mused, picturing the fun they could have.
Rhys tried and failed not to blush; his cheeks turned a wonderful shade of pink that Andy found most appealing. “You really think I look nice?” Unable to help himself he leaned over and kissed Andy fervently, mindless of their audience. As he deepened their kiss by putting his hand on the back of his lover’s neck, he accidentally knocked Andy’s hat and wig off. It took several moments before either man noticed what had happened.
The sailors on the Valiant abruptly stopped their whooping and hollering and their eyes widened as they realised that the two women they’d been lusting after were really two men! Rhys and Andy scrambled to fix Andy’s disguise, but it was too late the repair the damage Rhys’ lust had wrought. Swords drawn, the pirates on board the Valiant prepared to protect their ship. There was no way two floozies were going to get on board, not without a good fight!
John watched as Jack examined the treasure; it did not escape his notice that Jack was carefully making sure he kept himself in front of Ianto at all times. On the one hand, it was sort of endearing to see Jack acting so protectively of the young man but on the other hand John found it highly amusing. ‘I wonder if you’ll still feel so enamoured of Ianto Jones once I’ve finished running him into the ground!’
“I must admit, Jack, I thought I had ye figured. But it turns out that you’re a hard man to predict.” John wasn’t lying to his old friend; he had thought that nothing meant more to Jack than his beloved Myfanwy but he was wrong; it was clear that Jack’s most precious treasure was Ianto Jones.
Ianto hated to admit it, but he had to agree with John, Jack Harkness was indeed difficult to predict.
Jack winked at Ianto, pouring a wealth of emotion into the look, before turning to face John. He was beyond pleased how easily he had put John off his game. “Me? I’m dishonest and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly stupid.”
At this pronouncement, Jack unsheathed his sword and tossed it to Ianto before grabbing a spare blade that was lying on the floor. Together, he and Ianto charged at John.
“You’re off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters,” John sneered at Jack as their swords clashed.
‘I didn’t think it would be this easy sneaking aboard a pirate ship,’ Tosh thought to herself as she silently made her way onto the Myfanwy. She’d been pleasantly surprised by the lack of personnel both on deck and in the passages below, but when she saw that the brig was guarded, she knew she’d just come upon her biggest challenge.
Eugene and his fellow buccaneer, Johnny, were the only pirates left to guard the Myfanwy and they were busy talking about what they were going to do once the curse was broken. They were seated at a small table in the outer chamber and in front of them was a pile of food. Eyeing the food ravenously, Eugene asked Johnny. “Right. What would you pick to eat first?”
Johnny took a deep breath as he stared at the food in front of them; finally being able to eat again was a dream come true and he didn’t want to make any mistakes. “I think we should decide now. Just so we’re ready when the time comes,” Johnny told Eugene who nodded eagerly and within seconds they were piling their plates full of all the food they’d longed to taste for so very long.
Tosh bit her lower lip as it became clear that the men were going to be there for a while. Before she could think of her next move, Jack, the pirate monkey, dropped down in front of her. A heady combination of rage and joy filled Tosh as she suddenly figured out a way of getting Eugene and Johnny out of her way.
A frightened look entered the monkey’s eyes as Tosh reached for him; he definitely did not like the gleam in her eyes.
Both Johnny and Eugene were deeply engrossed in admiring their overflowing plates when they were pulled away from the food by the unexpected sound of the monkey suddenly falling on the cannon. “What was that?” Johnny shared a startled look with his dining partner before the two men abandoned their gastronomic leering and rushed up the stairs with their swords drawn. In their mad dash to the deck, they completely missed Tosh who was holding her breath and hiding beneath the stairs.
Down in the hold Owen heard a noise. “Shh!” he gestured to the others for quiet as he moved to the front of his cell; by pressing his face right up against the bars, he could just see the stairs. A moment later a huge smile graced his lips as he saw who was sneaking down into the brig.
“It’s Toshiko!” Owen called out happily. ‘Finally, I can get out of this blasted cell and get a stiff drink!’ Owen could have danced for joy… well, if he’d been a jolly pirate, that is. He carefully schooled his face back into its normal grouchy smirk.
Andy and Rhys, having reached the Valiant, began loading her cannons and firing them at the approaching boats. They had to keep working as quickly as they could to keep help from arriving.
Somehow though, James managed to reach the warning bell and he began ringing it as hard as he could, signalling for help.
Tommy’s trained ears heard the bell tolling and he quickly began barking out orders. “Make for the ship! Move!” He snatched the telescope from Mickey’s hand and zoomed in on the Black Myfanwy. ‘I’m coming, Tosh.’ The fate of the ship was the least important thing on Tommy’s mind; all his thoughts were on his beloved Toshiko.
Drawn by the sounds of swords clashing and men fighting, Harold left Tosh's empty cabin and cautiously climbed the ladder to the deck. As his head appeared through the hatch, his eyes widened in horrified surprise as he saw the fight that had broken out on deck. His eyes darted around, desperately looking for a hiding place and then he realised his best hope of surviving was to return to the Captain’s cabin without being noticed.
Unfortunately, his escape plans were all in vain when Adam spotted him and with a feral grin began moving towards him. “Hey, big man, where ya goin’?” Adam cooed as he brandished his sword menacingly.
Middle-aged and out of shape, Governor Harold Saxon was no match for the fast and determined pirate and within minutes, Adam had acquired an award-winning trophy. Guaranteed to get him free drinks in any pirate pub on the Main, Adam whooped triumphantly and gleefully waved Harold’s powdered white wig over his head.
Adam was so thrilled with his victory that he really didn’t care that Harold had managed to get back into Tommy’s cabin. Then the thought occurred to Adam that Harold’s captured wig would look even more impressive to his fellow pirates if he had Harold’s naked head to go with it. Hot on Harold's heels, Adam reached out to grab the older man just as Harold tried to slam the door shut; their brief battle ended when Harold managed to secure the door by cutting off Adam’s arm.
Momentarily worn out by his struggle for survival, Harold collapsed against the wall, his knees shaking and threatening to fail him. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to calm down and as he glanced around the empty room, he found himself very grateful that Tosh was nowhere near the Valiant. With his eyes closed against sudden tears of relief, he didn’t see Adam’s severed arm unexpectedly start to twitch.
‘Tosh, where are you?’ Harold rubbed his temples; there was a headache building and it promised to be a big one. A funny feeling began tickling the back of his brain but he couldn’t identify it and when he tried to examine it, it skittered away. The sensation that he wasn’t alone anymore made Harold’s eyes snap open and he looked around, but there was nothing there. Just as he about to close his eyes again, he heard movement near his feet; looking down he saw Adam’s arm lying there. “Oh, that is disgusting,” he grunted as he kicked it across the floor.
“I’ve got to get out of here,” Harold announced to the empty room; he had dismissed the offending limb until he suddenly found it wrapped around his neck, its fingers digging viciously into his flesh. “Gaaaahhh!!!”
Desperately choking for air as the bony fingers tightened their grip on his windpipe, Harold found himself in a frantic battle for his life with Adam’s severed arm. The battle raged for several minutes until Saxon finally managed to wrap his hands around a candlestick and he began beating on the arm until at last it fell to the floor. His chest heaving as he greedily sucked in great lungful of badly needed air, Saxon wasted no time in throwing the still moving arm into the Captain’s desk and locking the drawer. That accomplished, he sagged to the floor in relief.